This is a layout I entered in the Hall of Fame contest for CK magazine. The assignment was to do a layout about where we thought we'd be in one year.
I decided to list some things that I planned to accomplish throughout the year. I have this layout hanging in my scrapbook room, where I see it everyday. But I don't think that has helped me make any progress on this list! Let's check:
1. I will...find a balance. I don't necessarily think I've gotten there yet. The balance of work, love, family, friends, myself, and creating has not evened out much. I still feel like I'm behind in a lot of these categories.
2. I will...learn patience. Hm. Learned patience when I was little from Clarence, but those days are long gone. I think my patience may be even worse off than it was when I wrote this list!
3. I will...laugh much more. I love to laugh. Big loud laughter. Where you feel like you're going to cry, where you can't breathe. I can't seem to regain my sense of fun...I take everything so seriously!
4. I will...create more. This has definitely not happened. I am still pretty much only creating one day a month, at the crops that I attend. And this is one goal that I really want to accomplish, for myself and also to attempt to get published. I need to find the time for this. Make the time for this.
5. I will...become a healthy eater. I think we all know how hard this is. I'm addicted to junk, and have made no progress on this goal. At least not long-term. I always regress.
6. I will...look for positive. This is a hard one. I try. I don't know how well I do.
7. I will...name a dog Ocho. I'm one of those girls that yearns for a tiny little chihuahua to carry around in a little purse. I will have this one day, I'm just not sure that time is now. With our two other inside dogs, adding another might not be the best idea. They are 6 and might be jealous. The new puppy might learn their bad habits. I'm indecisive if now is the right time.
8. I will...learn to love myself. I think, right now, I'm still in the process of learning who I am. Rediscovering Kelley. Some days I feel like I'm doing well, that I am being authentic to myself. Other days, I have no idea. I'm sure this is a life-long quest. Do I love myself? I love parts of myself. Aspects of myself. It's definitely not an all or nothing thing.
9. I will...lose ten pounds. Nowhere close. As mentioned, I can't seem to stick to eating healthy foods, and I haven't found my motivation to get rid of my laziness. I am motivated to walking with Kim three days a week, and I am glad to be doing that. It sadly hasn't made me into a buff goddess though!
10. I will...put others first. This is one I have progressed a little on. I feel like I used to be so selfish, and now I try very hard to put other people before myself. I must keep working though...
11. I will...find my calm center. Nope. And I would really like to. Have you ever been driving along, alone in your car with the sunshine pouring in the windows, and a sudden lighthearted sensation comes over you? A feeling like all is right with the world? I get these sensations every now and then, and that's a feeling I would love to carry with me throughout each day. That calmness, that feeling that I am me, all is good. No matter what happens around me.
12. I will...give more and expect less. I have made some good efforts so far, in trying to do special things for others. The people in my life seem to really enjoy giving to me, and I think this is because I try to show such gratitude and pleasure in what they have done for me. I want others to feel special too...
13. I will...plan a Jamacian wedding. No wedding plans have been made yet. Our dream is to have a destination wedding somewhere like Jamaica. Which means we'll have to save up some money. Which means there is some debt that needs to be paid off before we can start doing that.
14. I will...become what Aspen needs. At this, I fail miserably. I still have such a hard time making that adjustment in my life. I have an idea of what I need to be for her, but I can not seem to go from Point A to Point B. She deserves so much, needs so much. I'm no better today than I was when I met her.
Quite the depressing update. Haven't made much progress on any of these goals I have for myself. At the end of this year, I will come up empty handed. Where will I be? Any further than I was when I wrote the list? It's always good to keep updated on where you are, where you are going. I wish I had more to take credit for.
3 comments:
LOVE the Layout BTW!!
Just touching on a few things from your list that I don't feel like your giving yourself enough credit for. This is a tough list to accomplish all of them. I think we ALL struggle with a lot of these. But that's what makes us human.
#6 "look for positive" I think you do this more then you realize. Anytime we talk and I am complaining about this or that, you are always the first one to point out the positive in the situation to me. I really think you do this in your own life more then you realize as well.
#9 You DID loose weight before Tahiti though right? That is something! You have to give yourself credit there! And the walks are good for both of us. I haven't lost a single pound since we started walking, but the exercise is great for us!
#12 "give more and expect Less" I think you do a wonderful job in this category. You give to me on a daily basis. It doesn't have to always be a monetary something that you give. You are a giving person!
#14 "become what Aspen needs" As the birth mother of Kelsey I STILL struggle with this one. I don't know many people that can say they are what there children need, all the time. Especially at Aspen and Kelsey's age ... they are becoming there own person more and more every day that it is tough to be what they need us to be for them. Heck it changes daily for Kelsey I think! You being in Aspens life, giving her all the love you know how to do is all that anyone can expect from you.
I just touched on a few that stood out to me. I think you are doing better on your list then you think Sweetie!
love ya!
You are WAY too hard on yourself!
#1 - All you can do is try to be as balanced as possible. I think that true balance over a long period of time is probably next to impossible!
#2 - I don't have much patience at all, or I'd share some ; )
#3 - I remember when we'd laugh so much you said your face hurt the next day!! You just need a little more Jackie time, LOL!
#4 - You create more than me, I'm jealous!
#5 - You eat better than most people.
#6 - I've always thought of you as a relatively positive person.
#7 - Ocho will be yours when the time is right!
#8 - Some people don't even LIKE themselves, so I think you're doing well in this category.
#9 - Girl, if I only need to lose 10....
#10/12- You are one of the most giving people I know!
#13 - The wedding will happen and it will be awesome
#14 - The fact that you care enough to TRY to be what Aspen needs shows that you are doing a great job! Kim is right, even when you give birth to a child, it's impossible to always get it right. You are doing much better than you think in this category.
I agree with others that you have a passing grade on most of these points. The fact that you updated the list is progress - means you have not pushed these goals aside and they still are important enough to you to review!
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