December 29, 2011

reflection on 2011 goals

It's time for a little self reflection - how did I do on the three goals I set for myself in 2011?? Overall, I fear not very well.

1. Follow a "Bible in a Year" reading plan to accomplish the whole thing in 365 days. This one seemed like it would be so easy. I probably made it through February before it started to dwindle. Somehow, there is always something in life that needs doing, that fills my time. It only took about 15 minutes to read, but I found that I didn't want to just be "reading"...I wanted some time for reflection and meditation on what I had read, and that is so hard to squeeze in. It's so hard to find a quiet place where that can happen. Another thing that I wasn't liking was the plan I chose to use...it had me read a little from the old testament, a little from the new testament, and a psalm each reading. I felt it difficult to get any kind continuous understanding going. I began to focus on just the new testament in my Message bible, and am currently in Luke. So. I certainly did not meet this goal, but progress has been made. I'm kind of curious about a chronological reading, and may look into that once I finish the new testament a first time.

2. Keep a prayer journal all year to document my personal prayers. Again, did this for awhile, but just have trouble with time.

3. Focus my life on love as the most important thing. Unconditional love, forgiveness, mercy. This is a tall order for anyone...but I actually feel like I made a little progress in this area this year. I studied at length about forgiveness, which is such an impressive and elusive topic. I participated in a group book study at work and felt a lot of growth in my knowledge and in my effort. In general, I feel like I have started to learn to take a step back and try to let people be who they are. I'm trying to accept things as they are, love as is, and let God be the only judge. If I can be forgiven of all of my sins on a daily basis, what right do I have to judge someone else? God is forgiving them too. How can I hold unforgiveness in my heart when I know that?? It isn't easy, and I have found it easier with some people and more difficult with others. I find it easy to forgive when someone is truly sorry and refrains from repeating the act. It's much more difficult when the person continues to hurt you in the same way repeatedly. I'm ready to continue working on LOVE.

2011 was an interesting year...the majority of my brain power was spent on learning to be the best boss I could be to my six wonderful employees...a very new experience for me, while also learning a completely foreign job. It was a good professional year for me, with a lot of personal and professional growth. I may not have completely met my goals above, but I feel the year was positve and worthwhile!

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