July 2 was a very tough day for us...we decided it was time to say goodbye to our Ocho. It was such a hard decision to make...how can a human being be expected to determine this kind of thing? It was gut-wrenching. Chris struggled with it. I struggled with it. But, Ocho's quality of life had greatly diminished, and he was doing a lot of stretching to relieve the pain and make more space inside his body, where the very large tumor was quickly growing. The bumps on the outside were growing very fast as well, and additional bumps were cropping up all over his little body. At night, he was no longer really sleeping...he would pace and whine, and we knew he was in pain. He hadn't played ball in over a month, and that was his very favorite thing.
Other times, he seemed ok...he had ok moments. But, his good days were behind him. We knew in our hearts that it was time, though selfishly, we really wanted to delay the decision for as long as possible.
I talked to the vet, and they were able to get us in at 2:15. Chris decided that he could not go with me to the vet, since he was taking it so hard already and couldn't bear to witness that. He took a few hours off that morning, and spent the time with Ocho. He was able to say his goodbyes in private, and then Ocho and I drove to the vet.
Along the ride, he stood up against the passenger door and looked out the window with a big happy smile on his face...it was such a good sight to see, and warmed our hearts. He enjoyed his last ride to see Dr. Bolt.
We had to wait about 30 minutes in the waiting room, and then about 15 minutes in the exam room. I won't go into more detail, but it was gut-wrenching. I sobbed uncontrollably for awhile. I pulled a chair over and sat holding Ocho's little paw, talking to him and crying and loving on him.
I left feeling so raw and drained. It was the hardest decision to make, and the hardest experience to witness. Now, we are left with a huge hole and it is so obvious he is gone. This little 7 pound dog made such an impact on our life and his absence is astounding. We are all trying to adjust.
Ocho was such a special dog to us...we have so many amazing memories with him and we just have to hold those close to our hearts and know that we made the best decision we could for him.
He'll always be a part of us.
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