Some of you may have heard of this book? It's an interesting concept, and one that is definitely worth incorporating into your relationship with your significant other.
I think that we all show love in the manner in which we wish to receive love from others. Have you ever thought about that? If your spouse is always surprising you with little gifts, it's a good bet that your spouse really wants to be receiving little gifts. This book makes it easy to see how that can happen. You are yearning for a certain type of love, so that love is most important to you...you naturally assume that it is the same for others. But, that isn't necessarily the case.
Once you learn what someone else's main love language is, you have an "in" to their heart...you can concentrate on showing them love in that language more than the others and then a funny thing happens. Their love tank fills up and they suddenly feel very very loved. And when a person feels loved, the world looks completely different. Life is happy. Things are good...
On our recent trip to Ft. Worth, Chris and I took the assessment tests in the back of this book to determine what our love languages are. The assessment consisted of 30 "this or that" questions. Such as picking between "I feel loved when my wife puts her arm around me" or "I know my wife loves me because she surprises me with gifts."
The assessment concluded that Chris has a three-way tie for his #1 love language (that makes it a little more difficult for me, but gives me some variety)...and I have one main love language by quite a margin (which makes it super easy to show me love).
There are Five Love Languages:
:: Words of Affirmation - hearing positive things
:: Quality Time - spending one-on-one time and concentraing on each other
:: Acts of Service - doing specific things to help someone out
:: Receiving Gifts - self-explanatory
:: Physical Touch - hugs and kisses and affection, etc.
Chris' Main Love Languages: in a three-way tie, the assessment determined that Chris wants to receive love with Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. The gifts and the service ranked lower. So that tells me that I need to be telling him frequently how wonderful he is, how hot he is, how good he is doing something. That I need to be spending time with him giving him all my attention. That I need to be free with affection and closeness...
Kelley's Main Love Language: the assessment determined that I want to receive love with Physical Touch. Everything else ranked lower. So that tells Chris that he needs to be showering me with endless hugs and kisses and hand holding and lots of affection and arms around my shoulder and you get the drift...
Now that we know these things about each other, it will be interesting to see how we feel after incorporating these languages into our daily lives. I could tell over the weekend that Chris was trying to show me more affection than normal, and I must admit that I totally loved it. I could feel my love tank swelling.
Shouldn't we all go through life with love tanks overflowing with goodness? I'm all for trying...
2 comments:
That is really interesting and worth looking into...
Oh I am planning on making your crockpot dinner tomorrow...needed a new meal and you had it posted right when I was thinking about it. :) Congrats to Aspen on her awesome running...it must be in the family gene.
I think i need to find this book and read it. It sounds very intesrting and something we could all learn from!
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